tara donovan's cups

Tara Donovan

Untitled, 2003
Styrofoam Cups, Hot Glue
Dimensions Variable
Ace Gallery Los Angeles, 2005

the plot is not my own

I haven't read poetry in a long time. Not because I don't love it, I do. 

Most of it.

It's more that most poetry doesn't fulfill me in the way that fiction does. It doesn't transport me so completely. And at this point, if what I'm reading doesn't transport me, doesn't transfix and insert me into the easy machinations of the story, I don't have the head space for it. I want to be transported, taken into another world, another life.

It's not that I don't love my life. I do. But at the end of the day, I want to experience something else, something fresh and unknown. Even if the story or the characters aren't fresh, they're new to me. The plot is not my own.

But tonight Djuna pulled Turneresque by Elizabeth Willis off the shelf and brought it over for me to read to her. This is her new thing. She brings me books, plonks herself in my lap, and sits still for 5, 10, 15 second stretches before she's off again, in search of the next book. (We are raising another reader for sure).

So as I flipped through pages of my old poetry teacher's book, I happened upon a poem that reminded me of being in my early twenties again. Of that feeling that I was living with all the unknown ahead of me. Every day an adventure, every book or movie or song a life I might live or emulate.

untitled by Elizabeth Willis

The day left off with a kind of singing "bang." Golden-
rod in a small sea-like air, specific and unbroken. I cannot
favor hunger or its alternatives. I cannot describe salt. In
a parallel universe does anything intersect the confused
blossoming blueness of a wall that is not sea, not golden-
rod, but the paper fastenings of you, standing against it?
I favor concrete between our rage and its mirage. Its
broken line. Catch the flying saucer but spit out its metal
mystery. Adore the big green nothing of the past, the
rationing of calm late in the century, like the arches of a
brick heart, letting go.


[image: Joseph Mallord William Turner (1775-1851), The Burning of the Houses of Parliament, from Old Palace Yard, with Westminster Abbey, c. 1834; watercolor and gouache with scraping-out and stopping-out on paper, 55 x 80]

happy birthday, djuna baby

Djuna on her first birthday

A year ago, after a quick 3 hour labor, our Djuna was born. I have been thinking about that birth experience all day. After weeks of waiting and getting increasingly tired of being pregnant, I was joyful to finally be in labor. I felt powerful, so different than when I gave birth to Stella. Giving birth isn't easy, but looking back I can remember starting to push and thinking I can do this, my body is strong, I can do this...

In some ways that ease and assurance has carried over into Djuna's first year. She is very much the second child. There is less intense one-on-one time with her because our attentions are always so fractured.

I hear myself say "she'll be fine" all the time after falls, face-plants, and crying jags. It's a nonchalance that only comes when you've seen a first child survive the mishaps of the first year and beyond. "Let her figure it out," is another phrase I find myself repeating.

She's showing signs of being more independent than Stella was at one. Part of this is due to the fact that she's been walking for two months already (a full 3 months sooner than Stella).

Djuna (Djunes, Djunie, Djuna baby, Pooms) loves greeting people with a smile and a wave, watching dogs, and gazing out our front windows. She is generally pretty content, but is quick to tell us when she doesn't like or want something. She likes swinging and exploring at the park. She spits out a lot of foods, but seems to dig cherries and sausage. She loves Stella but usually wiggles away from her hugs. She blows pretty sweet kisses.

Happy birthday, Djunes!

jet-lagged

We're back!

This photo was taken at 7:30am at the park yesterday. The girls woke us up at 3am and refused to go back to sleep, despite our many attempts. By the time we got to the park we'd already eaten breakfast, stopped for coffee and croissants (Stella must be going through another growth spurt because she is eating every 30 minutes) in the city, and dropped Jordan off at work.

This morning they woke up at 3:40am. I managed to get Djuna back to sleep, but Stella and I were up eating breakfast again at 4:30am.

Jet lag is no joke. It is going to be another LONG day.

Have a lovely weekend!

be back soon... and friday links

Kara Rosenlund's "Sea," via Cup of Jo

We are headed to the south of France and Berlin for two weeks, so the old blog will be neglected for a bit while we are away. I am excited to get away with family, and visit with dear friends we haven't seen in awhile, but I'm totally dreading the flights and traveling with a newly-walking toddler. When do vacations with kids become relaxing?

See you in a few weeks!

Pan-roasted chicken with harissa chickpeas.

My friends Melissa on SFGirlByBay!

Remember Sarah? Her site, Speed4Sarah, just launched. Consider donating to help find a cure for ALS.

One of Stella's favorite activities? Taking photos.

I'm not grossed out by armpit hair on women, are you? Truthfully, I often grow mine out, and I find it quite sexy on other women.

How Powerful Is Your Passport?

This pretty much sums up my daily uniform.

How a woman's plan to kill herself helped her family grieve.

Josey Baker Builds a Bakery. 

(Happy Birthday to my Dad!!)

djuna, 11 months

Djuna, 11 months

Djuna's first birthday just a month away, can you believe it?!

It's funny to look back at this post and think about those last weeks before Djuna was born, when it was still just the 3 of us.

Djuna at 11 months is walking and getting into everything. Her vocabulary consists of uh oh, Dada, and Mama, in that order. She loves seeing dogs, but seems to be allergic to them. She's still plagued by eczema on her hands and ankles, despite my heroic attempts (they have helped some) at excluding dairy, nuts, and tomatoes from my diet, and putting ointments on her throughout the day. She has 8 teeth, and an underbite to boot. She likes waving goodbye. She loves watching, toddling after, and touching Stella. She is watchful and a bit serious but has a smile that lights up the room.

gorgeous shades

Karen Walker shades

@large: ai weiwei on alcatraz

I would brave the Alcatraz crowds for this.

From For-Site Foundation:

“The misconception of totalitarianism is that freedom can be imprisoned. This is not the case. When you constrain freedom, freedom will take flight and land on a windowsill.”
— Ai Weiwei

The Chinese artist Ai Weiwei is internationally renowned both as a maker of potent and provocative art and as a passionate advocate for human rights and freedom of expression. His art and ideas find a compelling new context in this exhibition of works created specifically for Alcatraz — a 19th-century military fortress, a notorious federal penitentiary, a site of Native American heritage and protest, and now one of America’s most visited national parks.

Ai’s sculpture, sound, and mixed-media works will occupy four locations in the former prison: the New Industries Building, A Block, the Hospital, and the Dining Hall. With the exception of the Dining Hall, these spaces are usually off limits to the public, but all will be open throughout the run of this unprecedented exhibition. Revealing unexpected perspectives on Alcatraz and its layered legacy, @Large prompts visitors to consider the implications of incarceration and the possibilities of art as an act of conscience.

For Ai, these are not just artistic themes; they are facts of life. A vocal critic of the Chinese government, Ai was secretly detained by Chinese authorities for 81 days in 2011 on charges of tax evasion, and is still not permitted to leave China. As a result, Ai is currently unable to visit Alcatraz. He is developing the artwork for the exhibition from his studio in Beijing, with the help of the FOR-SITE Foundation and a team of collaborators from organizations including Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch.

@Large runs September 27, 2014 – April 26, 2015 at Alcatraz Island 

[photo: for-site foundation]

the week in brief + friday fun links

Crab Cove, Alameda

The week in brief:

Djuna is walking (if 6 steps count... I think that's walking). Stella, out of the blue, started drawing stick figures (heads with eyes, a nose, and mouth, arms, and legs) yesterday. Jordan is flying home today from a 5-day business trip (hurray!). Me and my friend Shayna are always in sync. My Dad finishes up his second AIDS ride in LA tomorrow (again, hurray!). It's going to be a good weekend.

A few fun links...

On happiness

The arugula in my garden is providing us with salad greens every day of the week. I'm adding Ashley's Easy Squash Salad for Summer to the menu for next week.

Chef's Night Out with State Bird Provisions

Is Your Free Time "Contaminated"?

One of my fave Instagram feeds

Nonsense Names: The Rise of Restaurant Gibberish

Why We Laugh: The fascinating science behind your giggle fits

oh, kevin drew

Kevin Drew + Feist + Zach Galifianakis = awesomeness

Chris DeVille of Stereogum:

For a certain sort of indie-rock fan — specifically people who were in college when Broken Social Scene’s You Forgot It In People came out, people like me — the sight of Kevin Drew and Leslie Feist playfully singing together in an empty ballroom is enough to make your entire week. Funny Or Die’s video for Drew’s Darlings jam “You In Your Were” delivers on the front while weaving in a comedic storyline about Zach Galifianakis choreographing a dance routine to help Drew have a hit on par with “The Macarena” and “Gangnam Style.” That whole ordeal is pretty funny, and when Feist shows up, her chemistry with Drew elicits some serious tingles. In other words, the video is overflowing with positive emotions. Do yourself a favor and watch it.