7.19.2012

making friends

 
There was a time in my life after grad school when felt the lack of good close friends acutely. I had lost my closest girlfriends to distance, misunderstandings, and best friend break-ups. I felt their absence everyday and was at a loss as to how to make new friends. And not just new friends, but good friends. I feel so lucky that I have all of those ladies back in my life now. Most of them live far away, but there is no lack of love in the distance between us. And I feel doubly lucky that I have a cadre of amazing friends whom I see, if not every day, every week.

This article by Alex Williams, Joanna Goddard's husband, about the difficulties of making friends as we get older struck a cord.
As people approach midlife, the days of youthful exploration, when life felt like one big blind date, are fading. Schedules compress, priorities change and people often become pickier in what they want in their friends.
No matter how many friends you make, a sense of fatalism can creep in: the period for making B.F.F.’s, the way you did in your teens or early 20s, is pretty much over. It’s time to resign yourself to situational friends: K.O.F.’s (kind of friends) — for now.
What do you think?

[image: Sailor Girls]

3 comments:

lifeintheabbey said...

I am so happy we're back in touch. I'm at work right now so I'll leave it at that because I might start crying at my desk.

Hannah said...

Me too. If I think about it too much I'll start to cry as well. We can leave it at that. xo

Heather G. Jones said...

I like this! There are so many degrees of friendship. There are women I share certain things with and women I share everything with. There are women I am friends with through my kids and friends I've lost because of kids. It's funny how someone's parenting style can ruin a friendship.....you'd be surprised. My best friends are the ones whom I love despite my children, their children, our husbands, our jobs, etc. And they are the ones I've met later in life.